It’s that time of year again. No matter where you turn, you’re reminded that Valentine’s Day is around the corner. Maybe that’s exciting, maybe it’s annoying, and maybe it just hurts, right? And maybe all of those feelings are making some self-love for valentine’s day sound pretty good.
You’ve checked off most of the boxes of success in life. Have a successful career, live in a beautiful home, have good friends, and get to go on nice vacations.
Yet something pretty important is missing: your soulmate… the man of your dreams.
And after all these years, those “Galentine’s Day” brunches and vacations with your girlfriends are getting kind of old. You love your friends, but deep down you wish you were in Italy or Bali with your man instead.
I understand that pain on a personal level. Before meeting Johnny, I felt the same thing for SO long. I remember going to Paris many years ago with my best friend and having a fabulous time, of course. But, I couldn’t stop thinking about how I really wanted to be there with my husband. 💔
And maybe you cope with that feeling by having a pint of ice cream and a bottle of wine during a rom-com marathon. Or perhaps by working even longer hours to avoid that deep feeling of coming home to an empty house. Where there’s no one to share your big wins or hard days at the office.
After 19 years of coaching high achieving women to be as successful in love as they are at work, I’ve seen it all. And here’s the tough truth: neglecting self-care just won’t help anything. But you kinda suspected that already, right?
What you might not have known is that not only does beating yourself up not help you, it actually REPELS the kind of high quality man you wish you had. And it ATTRACTS more of the crappy men you’ve already dated.
So instead, let’s flip the script. Self-care and self-love are overused buzzwords, but if you take them seriously, they can be POWERFUL tools that transform your love life.
Let’s be real for a second: self-love is a biiig topic, and it’s not something we can dive into fully right here. And I’m not about to sell you a “quick fix” because you and I both know those don’t work.
What I do have for you right now are 5 solid starting points for self-love. They’re going to help you feel better about yourself as you navigate Valentine’s Day. And as a bonus, they’ll also make you more magnetic to the kind of great guy you actually want to meet.
Your environment impacts your mood and self-perception. And if you’ve been working extra hours or binging Netflix, that’s taken some time away from making your space beautiful. Because having beauty around you matters. (I’ll tell you why in a sec.)
So, if you’ve been neglecting your house or apartment a little, start working on creating a space that reflects your worth, and how you’d like to feel. Declutter your living area or invest in those things your space has been needing. (Like that new laundry hamper or blackout curtains or a more comfortable couch.)
This is so important and not just for superficial reasons. Making your external world a sanctuary for you can really increase your attractiveness to the man who wants to be a sanctuary for you, too.
Celebrate all of your wins, big or small. This is an important part of building your self-confidence over time. And it keeps you from letting your frustration, fears, or worries around your love life negatively affect every area of your life.
If you get a compliment or praise from your boss, take it. Don’t run away from it or diminish your accomplishments. Acknowledge yourself for the things you do well, whether it’s crushing that presentation at work, how supportive you are of your friends, or how much your niece loves spending time with you.
It’s not about ego at all. It’s about recognizing your own value and not letting your confidence dwindle because your love life isn’t going the way you want it to. This helps build a calm sense of confidence and an inner joyful radiance – qualities that are MAGNETIC to amazing men.
Too many people scroll and scroll and feel worse and worse about themselves and their lives. Not as flashy as her. Not as rich as him. My vacations don’t look as dazzling as theirs.
Any fears or worries you have about growing old alone, ending up a bag lady, or having to settle for some schmo just to have a child gets exacerbated by looking at other people’s outsides and comparing them to your insides. Research has shown that more social media time correlates with lower self esteem and lower self love.
Cut that down and you’ll free up time to learn what you need to do to turn things around in your love life (then you can get back on fb or insta and post your proposal and engagement ring pics 😉
What’s going well? Where are you in your career, relationships, finances? If you’re like most people, when you think about what you wanted last year or the last 5 – 10 years, and where you wanted to be by now, it can feel like you fell short. You wanted to have more money in the bank, or less debt, or be in better shape, or simply be married and starting your family by now. Okay, join the club. You’re not alone. But what IS going well? What DO you like about your life?
Take a look at the trajectory of things. Maybe you haven’t released all the weight you wanted-but are you moving in the right direction? Many times your love life is going from blah to bad to worse, so that trajectory isn’t too good. I’m not gonna BS you and tell you to “stay positive” what I will say is that if something isn’t going the way that you want, the trajectory isn’t going UP like you want, NOW is a great time to make a major change and turn things around. Out of shape? Get expert help-a personal trainer, nutrition counselor, or fitness club. Love life not working out? We can help you with that.
Bottom line is take stock, be honest with yourself, then resolve to make major changes right now if something important to you isn’t going the direction that you want.
Right now, stand up, pump up the music, and dance like no one is watching. If you’re reading this at work maybe shut the door to your office first. Get that favorite jam from when you were a teenager and dance around and have fun. You’ll be amazed at how good that feels and how much energy that gives you.
One song, go all out. Do it because it’s fun. People that love themselves do things that are good, right, and healthy for them…and things that are FUN. So… enjoy!
These 5 ways to take care of yourself are just the beginning of practicing self-love for Valentine’s Day. And, there’s WAY more where that came from, that we just don’t have the time to get into here in this blog. So this is where things get even more interesting…
Johnny & I have seen firsthand the transformative power of TRUE self-care (going far deeper than what you read about here) – the kind that transforms lives and attracts soulmate love.
If that sounds like exactly what you want, then come join Johnny & me for our LIVE Zoom Events, The Love Breakthrough Bootcamp. It’s like nothing you’ve experienced before.
It’ll be live, engaging, teaching, and coaching that can kickstart your love life transformation NOW. If you’ve felt lost as to what to do, confused at all the mixed messages out there, or just exhausted from how dang long this whole thing is taking…join us, so you can finally have a solid path and a plan. Oh, and it’s totally free.
Don’t let yet another year go by where nothing changes. Do you really want to be in the same place at this time next year, dreading spending another Valentine’s Day alone?
Ouch. I know. But real talk here-if nothing changes, nothing changes, right?
Sign up by clicking here… your future self, cuddled up on Valentine’s Day with your soulmate, will be so glad you did.