Change Your Love Life Right Now, Really (Step 3 of 5)

DR. LARA FERNANDEZ

NOTICE:

This is the 3rd in a series of 5 Steps to Soul-Stirring Love in 2023. Keep an eye on this blog for the other steps.

When you want to change your love life in a significant way, there is a powerful shift that can create a significant difference. Let me explain how I figured this out.

How to Change Your Love Life, Right Now

So, I was single… and REALLY didn’t want to be.

I had been married, and quickly divorced, at a young age. 

For the next DECADE, I proceeded to date and get into relationships with men who just didn’t value my personality, my interests, my body… they just didn’t value me at all, and they didn’t treat me well.

After a devastating breakup that left me reeling (I thought that this was THE guy I was gonna marry since he had all the qualities I thought I wanted)… I had to take stock of my life.

I had to start taking a look at the woman in the mirror.

It got to a point where I knew I needed some expert mentoring and guidance, and was led to a love mentor and coach who was really walking the talk, a woman who:

-Was actually MARRIED. And had been for over 15 years.

-Experienced a terrible breakup and horrible things in her earlier relationships, too.

-Had been teaching and leading for over a decade.

-Could share a ton of testimonials that proved her approach worked.

What I Learned That Shifted Everything

One of our first times talking, I started telling her my story… all the problems I was having with dating and relationships.

And at one point, she gently interrupted me and said, “Lara, may I be honest?”

I said, “Yes, PLEASE DO be honest!”

She responded: “All those liars, all those cheaters, all of the relationships that didn’t work out… The common denominator in all of them is… You.”

That REALLY pissed me off for a few minutes.

But, after I cooled off, I had to admit that she was right.

And I had a lightbulb moment:

I had been playing a victim story, over and over again, in all of my relationships with men!

I decided, right then and there, to take 100% responsibility for MY PART, and my thought process in choosing these types of men who had treated me so badly.

After all, I was the one who said yes to the first date.

Yes to the second date.

Yes to getting in a relationship with them in the first place.

I was the one who chose to stay as long as I did… even as I ignored the red flags, all of the signs, and my very own intuition telling me that something wasn’t right.

To be clear, this is not to say that the men don’t have responsibility for THEIR part in how they showed up in the relationship. They absolutely do.

But there’s nothing I can do about what THEY did in the past… The fact of the matter was, I CHOSE them, and KEPT choosing them.

That all led me to realize that although I’d accidentally learned how to attract only mediocre men…

I could learn NEW skills about my decision making when it comes to men, and a NEW way to choose who to date.

What Will Start to Change Your Love Life For Good

In order to do any of that, I had to first take 100% RESPONSIBILITY for me and my choices, without blame or shame. Just simple ownership. 

This is Step #3 to Soul-Stirring Love. 

Take ownership and leave victim stories behind; they don’t serve you or your dreams, dear one.

From this place, you’re able to look at yourself and your past with kindness.

You’re able to move through the pain, heartache, confusion, and frustration.

And most importantly, you’re able to LEARN a whole new approach to love, a whole new set of skills for taking your power back on your search for lasting love.

So, are you ready? Ready to take responsibility for YOUR PART in your love life results so far? Ready to release the victim stories so that you can know how to date differently and finally attract the man of your dreams this year??

Affirm with me now:

I take 100% responsibility for my love life results in the past, present, and future! I EMBRACE becoming a Student of Love and learning the skills I need to find the love of my life this year!

AMEN!

AND SO IT IS!

Feel and acknowledge in your body what those words start lighting up within you.

Taking ownership can feel scary, but that’s usually right before it feels liberating as you reclaim the power to control more in your love life than you ever believed possible. 

So, Step #3 to change your love life and intentionally becoming a soulmate magnet:

Take responsibility for your love life.

The next step to soul-stirring love is next in Step 4 of 5. And if you missed the 2nd step, catch it here.

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